(copyright 25, September 2011)
A very wise man once told me,"Being willing to change allows you to move from a point of view to a viewing point -- a higher, more expansive place, from which you can see both sides." (Thomas Crum)
I try so very hard to live by these words. I admit, sometimes it's not easy. Conflict is all around us. The fact that it affects us is due to OUR acceptance. If we simply accept it, there it is. Learning to embrace it and manipulate it to a positive outcome is what needs to be done.
It's strange to think that conflict is a necessary part of every day life but it is just that. It is a means by which we learn and grow. Each of us has our own knowledge and believes, opinions and desires. It is how we go about sharing those things with others that creates conflict.
Here's a brief story of 2 children unknowingly exercising conflict resolution.
Suzy and Johnny want a bouncy ball. They had $1.50 and knew that they could buy ONE bouncy ball and share it. At first the idea was lovely. They both wanted a ball. The goal was simple. They took the money and when they arrived at the store, the conflict began.
Suzy wanted a red bouncy ball and Johnny was adamant about getting a blue one. Their arguing got heated and eventually got them escorted to the door and told that if they could not cooperate, they weren't welcome at the store. They stood outside, arms crossed frowning and blaming the other.
"Well if YOU didn't insist on a RED one we'd have already PAID and been playing with our ball!" Johnny yelled
"Well if YOU didn't insist on a BLUE one we'd have already PAID and been playing with our ball!" Suzy yelled
The store keeper interrupted their screaming match once again stating that if they could not get along, they would need to move off the property. He offered a solution.
"You two need to find a common ground on which you can agree or simply agree to disagree and move on." and with that he disappeared back into the store.
The 2 stood there in silence pondering what the man had said. They thought a while realizing the truth of the matter. If they didn't stop their arguing, they weren't going to get anything at all. They then decided to agree to disagree. They went back inside, looked at the bouncy balls, smiled, turned on their heels and went down another aisle. They picked out a coloring book & a pack of crayons and went to the check out counter.
"What's this? No bouncy ball?" The store keeper asked
They shook their heads "No, we changed our minds" Suzy said
"Yeah, we can share this" Johnny said, "at least this way I can color MY pages any color I want and Suzy can color HER pages any colors she wants"
Arguments don't always have to end badly. In fact, they can end well, more often than you know. You just have to rise above it, see the conflict, embrace it and learn to be a creative problem solver.
We can all do this. It's not beyond ANYONE'S means.
(copyright 25, September 2011)
