Tuesday, May 25, 2010

With Angry Words Spoken....

**Copyright CullensOnline.com 25 May, 2010**

Today was supposed to be a day of surprise and delight as I was planning to take Esme to Port Angeles to see a Matinee at the theatre. Jasper brought her to my work to save time and so that we had only one car to deal with. When he arrived, a trauma was brought in and the amount of time too great between now and his last hunt had finally taken it's toll...

Jasper - *Smelling the scent as the trauma patient is brought past me, covered in blood. My sight going blank, the burn in my throat suddenly fire, all I see is the blood and how much I want it.*

Esme - *Arriving at the hospital to see Carlisle, feeling Jasper go rigid at my side as a trauma patient comes dangerously close to us - sees the look in his eyes, the bloodlust growing, grasping him tightly, and calling out* CARLISLE!!!

Carlisle - *bursts into the hallway seeing Jasper and Esme, instantly grabbing him and pulling him into my office, slamming the door*

Esme - *Struggles to maintain my hold on Jasper as we walk into the office* Carlsile.. quick..

Jasper - *Growling ferrally as Carlisle pulls me away, needing the blood, trying to shake the bonds of their hands* LET ME GO!

Carlisle - Jasper! Jas! Calm... LOOK AT ME

Carlisle - Jasper STOP, look at me *restrains him trying to sit him on my exam table*

Esme - No Jasper... Please.. CALM yourself *Latches onto your shoulder looking at Carlisle with panic in my eyes*

Jasper - *Pushing against his hold, much stronger than Carlisle and breaking past him for a moment, shaking Esme off, needing the blood*

Carlisle - Esme there's NO time *points to the mini refrigerator* Blood pack HURRY

Esme - *Lunges forward again, reaching for the fridge, and pulling out a package of blood, knocking the lamp off the dsk asit shatters across the floor

Carlisle - *resists as Jasper fights, pushing me back into my desk, sending wood in all directions*

Carlisle - *strains agains his will* Jasper LOOK at me, Please stands up, arms still around him, holding him back*

jasper - *Snarling at him and trying to snap at him, the animal within me running wild.*

Esme - *Rushes over to Jasper, grasping his arm and forcing him into the chair with Carlisle* STAY ... *Tears open the blood packet with my teeth, and forces Jasper's mouth open* CARLISLE.. hold him still...

Carlisle - I'm trying, he's strong Essie, I can't hold him much longer

Esme - *Pours the blood down his throat as he resists over and over, sending the blood trickling down his chin*

Jasper - *Growling before suddenly the blood from the bag rushes into my throat, cooling the burn, the taste sweeter than anything as I need more, drinking harder, my struggles slowing.*

Carlisle - Another! Essie Another!

Esme - *Grabs another from the open fridge, repeating my movements, holding Jasper's mouth open, and pouring in the blood as fast as I can* JASPER.. Jasper.. it's alright...

Carlisle - *tightens my grip losing my balance toppling us over breaking the filing cabinet and a chair* Jasper PLEASE, just LOOK at me

Esme -*Latches onto Jasper* JASPER... CALM YOURSELF!

Carlisle -*looks at Esme, shaking my head* WE NEED Alice!

Esme - Where is Alice?? *Looks to Carlisle* He will listen to her!

Alice - *running in as I see them, Jasper in a rage as blood trickles along his chin, his body heaving and his eyes dark. His mind still on the blood*

Esme - JASPER.. STOP! *Pulls you back into the chair, gripping your shoulders tightly*

Carlisle - *looks desperately at Alice*

Alice - *going to his side as my hand brushes his cheek, brushing the excess blood away* Shh...Jasper..shhh..it's okay, I am here...you can do this...

Jasper - *Grabbing the bag from Esme and drinking each drop, my senses suddenly coming to me as the taste of the blood regesters in my mind, struggling still as the monster fights against my self.*

Jasper - *Regestering instantly the touch of Alice, struggling only lightly as I push away the blood bag, Staring at her with cold eyes*

Esme - *Keeps my hold on his shoulders, giving Alice the room she needs to calm him, looking to Carlisle with worried eyes, mouthng 'someone might have seen that'*

Carlisle -*stiffens as my pager beeps* Dammit Anders isn't here yet Can you 2 hold him?

Alice - *my touch caressing his cheek still as I get his attention, bringing him back to earth, letting him feel my emotions as I know it will calm him* You can do this Jasper...shhh...it will be alright, you are strong enough..I believe in you..shhh..calm..

Esme - *Searches Carlisle's eyes franically* Carlisle.. this is not good. I am worried this might have drawn attention to us.. *Looks down to Jasper* We have him.

Carlisle - Are you sure? *Stands back, letting Alice sooth Jasper's inner chaos*

Esme - *nods to Carlisle* please... GO! *Struggles slightly with Jasper* We can hold him.

Jasper - *Licking the blood from my lips, still tasting it's sweetness in my mouth, wanting more but knowing I need to calm, feeling Alice's hands holding me down, soothing me.*

Carlisle -*nods as Esme's concerned words register in my mind, running from the room to attend to the trauma*

Esme - *Looks to Alice, my mind a blaze with worry for our family, for Jasper's behavior* Listen to Alice, Jasper...you can do this, just calm yourself.

Alice - *feeling his muscles relax slightly in my arms as I hold him, looking into his eyes* Shh....you are doing good, you can do this..keep focusing...I love you, you've got this..

Jasper - *Feeling more of myself come forward, the remorse for my actions beginning to take hold as suddenly the blood tastes bitter in my mouth. My eyes warming slightly as I am still tense...* A...Alice?'

Esme -*Bites my lip, listening out to the hallway, desperately hoping for Carlisle's return, sighing as Jasper relaxes* Thank goodness..

Alice - *nodding as I smile softly at him, holding him still with adoration and concern* Yes Jazzy, it's me..I am here...you are going to be alright...

Esme - *Whispers* Thats it Jasper, listen to Alice..

Jasper -*Sighing as the cloud of the hunt begins to deminish, leaving behind a grave sorrow for my actions and a strong feeling of anger.*

Esme -*Keeps my hand on Jasper's shoulder, despite the calming of his mind and body*

Alice -*my eyes never leaving his, my visions never leaving his path as I feel Esme's concern, unready to let go, untrusting*

Jasper -*Feeling enough of myself to know I am not about to leave the room, snapping in annoyance.* Esme. Let. Go.

Esme - *locks eyes with Alice, knowing she feels as I do about Jasper's state of mind, gripping Jasper's shoulder tighter as his words snap before me* I don't think so Jasper.

Jasper - *Snarling lightly.* I don't want to hurt either of you. So, let me go. NOW.

Esme -*Growls loudly* I. Said. NO.

Alice -*looking for Jasper's path and not trusting it quite yet, feeling his thirst control but the desire still remains* Jasper..you would not date...please, calm love...

Jasper - *Glaring at her.* Alice. I am not goin' to do anythin'. Let. Me. Go. *Commanding as I talk, my voice harsh showing the pain in myself and my pride.*

Esme -*Places my hands on both his shoulders now, knowing he is not himself, lack of trust prevelant in all my features, watching Alice carefully*

Carlisle -*rushes back to my office, hoping the situation has calmed*

Alice - *holding him still, knowing this is hurting his emotions but that he is still needed to be retrained, kissing his lips softly to show him how I love him still*

Alice - *whispering to him* I love you Jasper, I'm sorry...

Esme - *Looks up to Carlisle* Thank God.. *Keeps Jasper still as you enter*

Jasper -*Feeling my anger growing with my hurt, the annoyance at how closely they hold me, as though I were a child unable to control myself... knowing that they are right to deep down.*

Carlisle -*stands, locking Eyes with Alice*

Alice -*looking over to Carlisle as I nod to him,signaling the time is right*

Carlisle -*nods and moves closer, pulling up the only unbroken chair in the room* Jasper

Jasper - *Resigned to the fact that they will not let me go for now.* What?!

Carlisle - *reaches out to touch Jasper's arm* Son, please look at me

Jasper -*Tearing my arm away from him with a slight snarl, keeping silent.*

Esme - *Grips his shsoulder tigher, giving it a hard squeeze*

Alice -*my hand seeking his, trying my best to confort him even if he does not think he wants it*

Carlisle - Jasper, listen to me *speaks calm and even toned* What happened here could have potentially jeopardized the family

Jasper - *Turning my eyes to him, glaring.*

Carlisle -What happened was dangerous for all of us. You have to hunt, you have to be mindful of others, Jasper

Esme - *nods in response to Carlisle's words*

Carlisle -I know you can do better than this. You have to recognise it and reel it in and obtain better control. I KNOW you can do this

Jasper -*Snarling then.* Well I am sorry I we can't all have perfect records like YOU. I am sorry that I can't be the perfect little child you wish me to be. Not everyone is like YOU, some of us have to fight who we are, not have it handed to us on a silver platter. We can't all be like YOU Carlisle.

Carlisle -*Stands up, anger welling slowly inside of me* THIS is not about ME

Esme -*frowns as Jasper's harsh words spill across the room, continuing to hold him tightly*

Carlisle -THIS is about YOU! I've SEEN what you are capable of, you CAN CONTROL THIS! *raises voice in anger*

Alice - *gripping his hand tighter, keeoing watch on him*

Esme - Carlisle...*Watches you carefully, seeing the anger in your eyes*

Carlisle -With every time control is lost, our family is in jeopardy!

Jasper -*Snarling then.* I CAN'T. THAT IS NOT WHO I AM. I am sorry I do not fit into YOUR vision of perfection. *Growling then and standing up easily, breaking the hold of the females without any struggle at all.* I guess some of us are just monsters.

Esme -Cringes back slightly to the wall, the argument breaking out before me, grasping at every one of my emotions* Japser.. Carlisle... please..

Alice - *looking at Jasper in shock as a burn still seers my hand from where is touch once was* Jasper...no...

Carlisle -*stands back, anger filling me completely* Do you forget? I KNOW you, Jasper. YOU CAN do this. You've proven it before

Jasper - You know what Carlisle? Some of us have to work towards this lifestyle of yours. Even if we hate it. I do not do this for YOUR approval.

Esme -*Stands in shock, looking between the two*

Carlisle -Approval? *shakes my head, fists clenched* Is that what you think this is about?

Esme -*reaches out to Carlisle, but drawing my hand back as the tone of his anger unnerves me*

Jasper -*Growling as I take a step closer to him.* Isn't it always? You just want to be able to say you controlled us long enough to make the family like you. You act selfless but you have selfish thoughts just like the rest of us.

Carlisle -*blinks hard as his words hit* Just get out!!

Carlisle -*points at the door* GO! Get OUT OF MY OFFICE !! NOW!!

Esme -Carlisle! no!

Esme -*Gasps* CARLISLE!! *Looks to Jasper, pain welling in my eyes*

Jasper - *Snarling.* Of course, that is your answer to everything. Kick me out, send me to my corner to think of what I've done. Well guess what Carlisle. I leave on my own accord. GLADLY.

Esme - *Stares in horror* Jasper, carlisle..please..no don't do this..You don't have to go. *Glares at Carlisle* Tell him he DOESNT have to GO!

Carlisle -*Turns my back, biting my fist, holding back the urge to lash out further* Just GO!

Esme -NO! *Looks over to Jasper and Alice* PLEASE! We can solve this..there doesn't have to be anger.

Jasper - *Glaring.* No Esme. I don't belong here, that is clear. *Moving to leave and making sure to barge past carlisle, knocking him into the cabnets behind him as I storm out the room.*

Carlisle -*picks up the broken chair and whispers* Get out

Esme -*Bites my lip as you leave, whispering* You do belong here...

Alice -*following after Jasper as he storms out of the room, trying to catch up but he is to angry, too fast* Jasper please...

Jasper -*Walking past the humans in a blaze, seeing red from my anger, knowing Alice follows me but ignoring her.*

Carlisle -*Kicks the broken desk, back turned away from my family*

Esme - *Turns to Carlisle, anger flowing freely from me* WHY?!

Esme -TELL. ME. WHY.

Alice -*the gap moving further between is as we reach the parking lot, trying to catch up, afraid he will not come back to me* Jasper, please...don't leave me...I know you don't want this lifestyle but tell me you want me still..don't leave...

Carlisle - *turns, eyes flashing to meet yours* You are asking ME why? Ask your SON!

Jasper -*Freezing in place at her words, shocked.*

Esme -How DARE you treat him as if he were nothing more than a common nuisance.

Carlisle -Did you not see what just happened? In PUBLIC! RIGHT HERE? What did you NOT SEE, ESME?

Alice - *catching up to him as he stops in his tracks* Please...please Jasper...talk to me...

Jasper -*Sighing, my anger prominent as I grab her arm suddenly and pull her to the side of the building, away from sight.*

Esme -I saw EVERYTHING. But you losing your temper with him will NEVER solve the problem, now will it?

Carlisle -My temper? *runs my hands through my hair* My temper?

Esme -Yes YOUR temper. He looks to YOU for guidance, control, and you gave NONE of that to him. You are BETTER then that. *Glares*

Alice -*following as he drags me out of sight with anger and force, fear creeping within me as he does. Fear that he will leave me, fear that his anger will not fade*

Carlisle -*stands mouth open in shock* our family is in jeopardy and all you can do is talk to me about MY temper?

Esme -*Growls under my breath* Jasper was in the wrong yes..but when it comes to our family.. YOU are the one who always rights the wrongs, takes control of the situation..losing your temper is NOT acceptable.

Carlsile -Listen to yourself! We're lucky that security didn't catch sight or sound of what just happened! HE lost control! Don't you lecture me about control!

Esme - *Pushes the charts from your desk, moving swiftly right up to your face, and snarling* Carlisle Cullen, it is about time you realized that things are not written in black and white!

Carlisle -*Stares at you, shock and disbelief rushing through my mind* Perhaps you should just go with him then

Esme -*Gasps, your words hurting immensly, deciding to lash out with the same respect* You know something...maybe i should. You are acting EXACTLY like Charles... or worse...YOUR FATHER! *Grabs your car keys, and slams the door behind me*

Carlisle - *leans back against a file cabinet, staring crack in the window on my office door*

Carlisle - *slowly kneels to pick up the scattered charts*

Esme -*Hurries down the hallway, starting to regret my lst words to you, but my anger exploding at your lack of compassion for the family* UNBELIEVABLE!

Carlisle -*takes off my cufflinks and throws them across the room*

Esme -*Peels out of the hospital parking lot in your Mercedes, hoping you enjoy being stranded at work*

Carlisle - *changes out of my suit Jacket and back into my white lab coat, slowly taking off my tie*

Carlisle - *kicks off my grey loafers and puts back on my black work shoes*

Carlisle -*silently leaves the office, heading down the hall back to the ER*
**Copyright CullensOnline.com 25 May, 2010**

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